sex education urdu language



losing both your parents in anaccident seemed like a conspiracy. it was just that ihad no one to blame for it. chhoti. no need to make any more tea. are they to mourn or...?


sex education urdu language
sex education urdu language, it's only close family now. grandpa, aunt and ... chhoti is crying in thebathroom go give her some water. i'll take the tea.

till the time hecompletes his college.. ..mukesh will stay with you. father-in-law,i have a touring job. your daughter runs the house. i will abide bywhatever you two decide. papaji, we never dared tohave a second child of our own. we have neither thespace nor the means... nothing is hidden from you. he is like my own son.

but, how can i takehis responsibility? i understand... it was my son's ageto take responsibility. but instead he hasleft me with his share too. don't worry, i will takecare of any extra expenses bourne by you from my pension fund. but, his is a responsibilitywe all must share. i am not going to delhi.i am going to stay here. and take care of sonu and chhoti.

bring me some butter. coming! no breakfast, mukesh? college must have already started. eats enough... free loader! 'i was offered the mostpedestrian course in college.' 'b.a pass.' why are you standing on my head! want to inhale the smoke?

what do you want? you are alwaysin need of something. aunt...i need some money. to get fliers printed. i am thinking of givingprivate tuition to school kids. will return the moneyas soon as i get the job. no harm dreaming. but what if you don'tget the tuitions? your grandfather doesnot send us a fortune!

no point wastingmoney on silly schemes. don't you know a chess board attractsevil spirits with scores to settle. wait! let me search your bag! why? am i a thief? kid, this is delhi!here everyone is a thief! on a good day you get robbed. on bad days you get killedfirst and then robbed. kasparov. wipe that innocentlook off your face!

i catch coffin thieveslike you everyday. hey! stop! what have you stolen? must have stolen something? what? a corpse's gold tooth?a diamond ring maybe? come...follow me. pious! need an extraday to make one box? he is the one johnny bhai!

always loitering aroundwith a chess board! come on, kasparov... sit down. kasparov played like a bull! karpov was the wily one! come on. take out your chess board! what kept you so long? the ladies have alreadystarted arriving.

clean up,at least look a little presentable. we're having a kitty party. all the ladies are here. yes! yes! sarika is here too! sarika, my husband says hello. hello. so, mukesh! working very hard. come over to help me sometimes too.

so... when can i expect you? mr. khanna is of hardlyany use in the house! she just likes to embarrass you!don't go pink in the face. sarika wants to sendover a case of apples! go and pick it up soon. i'll go next sunday. make us all a pot ofgood steaming tea, son. sarika called againabout the case if apples. tomorrow is a holidaygo pick it up.

listen, her husbandis your uncle's superior. when such a people call you even to pick up their rubbishyou thank them for the chance. and here she wants tosend over a case of apples! don't delay it... go tomorrow. let me know if youneed anymore bread. amit! get up, son. it's noon already. you still here?

just leaving... is sarika ma'am at home? who has called you?there is no sarika here. i am mrs. verma's nephew. i have come for the case of apples. listen to me carefully. she is a witch! a proper witch! a snake in a woman's body! there are no apples here.i have thrown them all away!

now run away! there is no one home... run away! beware of her! now you show me respectbut later you will also abuse me! beware! she will tie you up! go! run away! biji! i have told you not toopen the door to strangers! one day someone will slashour throats and rob everything.

shut the door behind you. dolls? they are mine, my fatherwas in the foreign services. i have travelled to many countrieswith him when i was a child. sit. did pammi not tell you my name? sarika. why are you alwaysdoing od jobs in the house? don't you have friends?

what's the matter? do i make you nervous? you are not a little boy anymore. someone might thinkthat i am misbehaving. who? biji. she is sleeping...shecan sleep through a bomb blast! you took your time comingthere was a last one left. my husband gaveit away this morning.

more will come soon frommy brother's orchard in shimla. your hair is thick like a girl's! comb it properly or get it cut! lie down. hmm... you're not as afraidas you were pretending to be! are you in a hurry? do youhave an appointment elsewhere? hello.. - pammi... sarika here. i am sending mukesh to themarket to run an errand for me. hope you don't mind?

no...no...not at all! he hardly does anythingafter returning from college. i've taught him everything so thathe does not sit around in the house. idling his time away. but do make sure hegives you proper accounting! thank you, pammi. i'll talk later. your aunt has taught you shoppingand i'll teach you the rest! take a bath. i already did... in the morning!

then take a bath again. bite me. i want you to leave marks! you are too much in a hurry kid! there goes your queen! you are making progress. but there is stilla long way to go. check! choke me!

get a haircut andbuy some decent clothes. you bloody virgin!you have become quite a whore! delhi air is something!did you look at his hair style? your grandfather is yetto send money this month. from where have you gotthe new shoes and clothes? i managed to geta couple of tuitions. he is lying. there has been no inquiryfor an under graduate tutor! i got it throughthe college librarian.

stays nearby, few blocks from here. where are you off to on a holiday? i have tuition to give. ashok is at home. keep your ears & eyesopen and your mouth shut. she puts chains on my feet!but i am not a fool! you hear? biji! apply the brakesor it is off to bed for you! he is always hanging aroundthe house in your absence! he got late goingto the club today...

i'll have to buyyou a cell phone now. don't forget to get the bill. who is he? mrs. verma's nephew,very helpful boy. 'that evening i could notmake it back to sarika's house.' 'i was on my way to my home town,tohana.' sonu and chhotiare our responsibility but we are barely making ends meet. mukesh, finish your college quickly.everyone's counting on you.

we should sent chhotiand sonu to a girl's home. pammi is over burdened as it is. sonu...chhoti...hurry up. come on its getting late. don't worry,your brother will visit you often. 'sarika knew whatwas going on in my life.' 'but at first shechose to remain quiet.' 'then one day out of the blue..' now you will be needing money!

help this lady out. she will pay for smallbut important errands. if you are reliablethere would be more jobs. i am mukesh. stop here. hello! i'm mukesh. i spoke to you overthe phone yesterday. yes...yes... come in. i can't do this.

why not? you seem to be doingpretty alright here! i wasn't doing it for the money! what happened? first she gave me money,it seemed excessive. then... when i refused shesaid she would scream! she never said anything of thatsort to me seemed pretty happy. she threatened me thatshe would call in the neighbors..

..and say that i hadbroken into the house! i can't do this... i am not that kind of a boy! really! what kind of a boy are you? to sleep with women for money! you take the money!i don't want any of it! i've taken my share,the rest is yours. i won't do it.

what else do you think you are qualifiedfor in the first year of college? fine! leave then don'tcome around here anymore! get lost! i give you a chance andyou come back crying like a kid. don't show me your face again! mukesh. do you really want to go on livinglike a servant in your aunt's house? come. think of all that youcan do with the money.

you can call yoursisters to live with you! don't think how themoney comes be happy to know that there will be more coming. if nothing else thinkof it as social service! just do it... as it is one has to doa lot for other's happiness. think about yourself for once. don't you like me? i like everything! you as well!

I also like the benefits hajar jahanam for a wedding in delhi society. i have taught you well! now the world willenjoy your talents. 'the phone numbers were real,the names were not.' 'i had to ask for the fake name.' hello, neha ma'am. 'if there was any hesitationon the other end..' '..i pretended to havegotten the wrong number.' you understand what clientservicing means, don't you?

keep them happy andthey will call you again. do whatever they ask of you. complaints will not be tolerated. (soap opera on tv) didn't this fellow rakeshdie in last week's episode? don't you have a tv in your house? i hardly get the time,catch up on it. when i am with you. ok, i will tell youthe story after that.

a speeding rakeshloses control of his car. which then falls into a river... dheeraj, you scum! you low life! but he is saved bythe second heroine ganga! you were dying to have an affair,were you not? so ganga saves rakesh's life. but dies herself. a distraughtrakesh returns to the city! to the first heroine priya. who is dheeraj? if i may ask.

the asshole in my lordand master... my husband. rakesh is dead again ! yes, this time he's really dead. forget about that episode.let's finish this episode first. hello! chhoti,did you get the money i sent you? yes, but the warden wasasking too many questions. give the phone to sonu. always wants to speak with you. what was the warden saying?

same old stuff, who sent the money? how do i know thathe is really your brother? if he is so loaded then whyhas he dumped both of you here? don't worry, i will comethere and have a word with her. chhoti, you go from here. there is somethingnot right with this place. the girls here... are they troubling you? they go out at night in fancy cars,all dolled up.

return in the morning,drunk and loaded with money. the warden gets a cut too! yesterday they were forcingme to go out with them... don't worry, i will comesoon and speak to the warden. take care of yourself.. bye. don't schedule anythingfor the weekend. why? i am going to meet my sisters. iwill go every weekend from now on.

what do you think this is,a government job that you will get the weekend off? go this time...but don't make it a habit! which way to the warden office? why don't you take then with you? i will soon. till then, i want themto be looked after well. they are still very youngand i have heard that... what have you heard?

don't think there isnobody looking out for them. i have brought a phone for them. no need for a personal phone. there is a public phone here.you talk to them often, don't you? buy some gifts for your children. keep this and call me everyday. i will make surethere is enough credit. we don't want to stay here! just a few more daysthen i will come and get you.

promise. o mauritius. you are not going to become any fairerby spending hours under the tap! *#@$...!!!! has bath once a year and finishesthe whole colony's water supply. why would i have a bath everyday,pretty boy? i don't run a sidebusiness like you. then maybe you shouldstart running one! or else you will keep dreamingabout going to mauritius

and never actually get there! stop whining! there is water left foryou to wash your ass clean! johnny bhai. hey, tuition master!come meet the headmaster. he is studying to bea doctor of philosophy. ph.d? yeah, in chemistry during the dayand in biology during the night! better than you, you slob. making aliving out of scavenging the dead!

that's where you are going to endup yourself sooner than you think! it doesn't take muchfor the times to change, son. *#@$...!!!your entire existence is ill timed. i have a small gift for you. forever indebted to you, my friend! in the beginning i waitedfor my husband to get better... knew that it might never happen,but i had hope... then eventually,i started waiting for him to die... years went by...ijust kept on waiting...

sometimes hoping thatmy husband would get better. sometimes wishing that he would dieso that his suffering would end. you have no one close?no immediate family? i have a son,a little elder to you... lives in singapore...sends money too. but can't come himselfhe's got a job, it's difficult. you go now, the relativeswill be arriving any time now. not much action seemshave happened here last night! her husband passed away...

i was trying to call,why didn't you answer? i was in the hospital,has switched the ringer off. come on, then! we havepaid the rent, why waste it! i have just lefthis body at her house! come i'll drop you home. don't come home for a few days. ashok seems to be in a strangemood he has no fixed routine. comes and goes as he pleases. are you angry with me?

you are not my husband that i need tothrow a tantrum to get your attention? just do as i tell you. i'll let you know whenis a good time to come. just drop me off here,i have some work. that's my friend johnny. i'll leave now. why did you make me meet him? he is a friend! lives nearby. i playchess with him in the cemetery. have you blabbered anythingto him about our work?

no! i just told him thatyou help me get tuitions. good! your minds has alsosharpened up along with your body. so partner,why did you want to see me? i need a house. are you looking to buy one? no, want to rent one. so what is the problem?- nobodywants to give it to a bachelor. and i can't call my sisterhere until i have a house. don't worry! call your sisters!

how can i call themtill i have a house! don't worry about that! i have a lady friend too! what family were you talking about?he is a bachelor! why? i am there! these days even twomen can start a family! stay within your limits, johnny! just kidding!he has got two lovely sisters. they will come and stay with him.you can lord over them!

they will help youin your housework too! how much is the rent? 3,000 rupees, no security becausejohnny has brought you here. but i will takethree months advance. my tenants will vacatethe room in 15 days. but you need topay the advance now. his sisters willbe here in 15 days. he will give you the advance then andyou hand us the keys at the same time. fair and square, is it not?

look johnny, my room shouldn'tgo vacant even for a day. your house is like my own!i wouldn't be able to bear it. if you were to incurany loss on my account! may i take one? are you a moron? rushing to pay the advance whenthe house isn't even vacant yet! you haven't understoodthis city at all. johnny bhai, thank you. oye! what do youthink you are doing?

hey! i am talking to you! that is my drawer. it was my drawer tillyou stuffed your things in. your mother has given me the key. if my mother gave youthe house keys someday.. ..would the house be yours too? i pay my share ofthe rent every month. you eat worth muchmore in a single day! i will leave your house...and your drawer as well!

quit talking about it. why don't you actuallydo it for a change. i told you not to come here!what was so important? you should not trust me so much! where else can i keep it? all the banks are askingfor an income proof. i will come and takeit in a couple of weeks. this bank will charge interest. biji has woken up.

if you can't knock like a civilizedperson have the courtesy to look away. slut! where the fuck doyou think you are going! sit here! i thought my oldmother had gone senile! then one day i asked myselfhow long since sarika nagged you? she seems content!what has changed? i has my eye on youbut you sensed it some how! clever slut that you are... butyou couldn't resist for long eh!

today i am going to knockyou back to your senses! oye! sit! *#@$...!!!. watch and learn! usually you are of no use does seeing me with himturn you on? you pervert! if you think you are goingto *#@$...!!! around behind my back.. ..and make me look like a fool...then think again. 'i was scared to goback to my aunt's house.'

'i needn't have been for sarika'shusband had already dug my grave.' mukesh had come home in theafternoon to ask sarika for a loan. said that he was notbeing treated well by you. that you do not give himproper food nor any pocket money. inspite of our constraintswe try to do our best for him... he had been working well up tillnow so sarika felt sorry for him. at his age boys tendto mistake sympathy from women for an interest of another kind. yes, boys at this agecan indeed be very foolish.

he tried to grab herin front of my old mother. he was smelling of cheap liquor. so, sarika pushed him away.after that he just went mad. tried to kiss her.. caught her arm so hardthat he has left marks! sir, let him return homemy husband will take him to a task. do not let him returnis what i came to say. your husband is due for a promotionit will be very unfortunate.. ..if instead of a promotion he has

to sit in front of someanti-corruption inquiry committee. mukesh... pack your things rightaway and leave the house! where will i go, buaji? i don't care. go to a friend! or rent a room! very independent you have become. you make enough money givingtuitions to get drunk on. mr. khanna is lying! i hadjust gone over to meet sarika.

everybody is awareof sarika's reputation. why her husband is targeting you,i don't know. but if you stay here, youwill land all of us in trouble... so for god's sake please spare us. tuition master! and what's with all this luggage? come with me... come in. settle down.

mauritius. my aunt's son lives there...keeps calling me, says.. ..a little investmentcan take me far there but i say, i am too oldto settle in a new place. my money is stuck somewhere. i will rent the roomas soon as i get it back. play chess with me every night.stay for free as long as you like! when are you coming to get us? i'll be there soon!why? has something happened?

no, but just come and get us fast. i'll be there don't worry! hello, kavita ma'am... mukesh here. who mukesh?there is no kavita here... don't call back again. hello, reena ma'am. this is mukesh here. you haven't called last few days soi thought i should call and inquire.

wrong number. mrs. kajal?this is mukesh calling. usha ma'am. this is mukesh calling. mrs. vandana?- wrong number. sorry, i won't call back again. hello, sarika ma'am... i have told you not to call here...don't call back again. sorry.

who is there ma? somebody's got the wrong address. what are you doing here? leave! my husband can come anytime! did he hit you? what else do you expect? a trophy? my sisters are coming,i need my money. are you done? they rescheduled myappointment for tomorrow.

breakfast! johnny bhai, i need a favour? you will have to go to that lady'shouse the one that you met with me. why don't you go yourself? my aunt lives in the samecolony if she sees me there... what work do you have with her? sleeping through theday begets bad luck my friend! she says that your duehas already been paid to you. your lady friend didn'teven let me enter the house!

she started shouting and threatening me sayingthat she will call her husband! they have given your number to thecops even filed a report against you... what the hell are you upto? youwill get me into trouble as well screwed up my work. got me thrown out of the house. and now she saysshe will not pay me! bitch! does she think iam scared of her and her husband! what does she think of herself?

calm down!shut up and listen to me! what the fuck doyou think you are doing! come to your senses!have you lost it! i don't know what kindof tuitions you have been giving. but learn this from me. take out your sim card! stay away from themthey are rich and connected! they will get you bustedso bad you won't know what hit you! give me the sim cardi will throw it away.

if you throw my sim cardthen how will my sisters call me? give them my number! and what if someone calls you?- have you ever heard my phone ring? use my card andgive them this number. i am not going to lether get away with this! i will cut her to pieces! don't talk shit. we are out of booze as well!come... come on...

this godforsaken townis a real shit hole! you place your trust in peoplethinking they are your friends. but the moment you turn aroundthey ram it right up your ass. i'll go give thisnumber to my sisters. ok, but now don't gostressing them out as well. hello, sonu! are you alright? who's number is this? it's a friend's number,save it on your phone.

what's this noise are you outside? what are you doing out so late?- we have run away from there... we are on our way to delhi. run away! what do you mean you have run away!have you gone mad! what the hell is going on there? i'll explain everythingonce i reach. i told you to stayon for a few days! can't you understand that much?are you little children!

brother, please don'tget angry...the warden. what did she do? sonu, tell me what happened? she got drunk and came in chhoti'sroom... was trying to slip into her bed. i'll explain everything tomorrow. you both take care of yourselves...do you have money? yes. call me as soon as your reach,i will come and get you.

here, gulp it down. could you lend me some money? i will return it soon. money? if i had any money saved do you thinki would have been stuck in this city. i would have gone awayto mauritius long back! i live off the dead!i bury one corpse to get one meal! i am surviving becausepeople die in this city everyday. i would have runaway long time back.

to mauritius...to white sands... to blue skies... you are young youwill get many chances. brother. stop for a minute... you are with me becausethis is your first night. from tomorrow you are on your own. be tough! don't be scared! do we wait here? i'll go first.

how much money should i ask for? 2,000 rupees don't settle for less. drink up! go on, have another swig.it eases the pain! move aside. time to get to work! looking for fun?- yes! how much will you pay?- let's bargain on the way. there is one!standing all by himself!

back up. i am tired of *#@$...!!! around herelet's try the pretty boys for size! three of you? why, you gonna cook for us tonight? all three of you will have to pay! sure, but let ussee the goods first. go on, he is calling you! why so wound up?are you a first timer? 2,000 rupees for each of you!

that's the rate,take it or leave it! the little *#@$...!!! wantsto play posh! drag him in boys! get in you faggot spreadingfilth on the streets! give the money first. the *#@$...!!! thinkshe is prime piece of ass! let go of me! don't worry about the threeof us you won't get past even one! open the door! let me out! stop the car! let me go!

come here... mukesh! show! look, i don't knowwhat's going on with you but whatever it is, get out of it. forget the past... start afresh. johnny, i won't giveup what is rightfully mine. have you lost your mind! i am not here for you...my work has been stopped. your work?

i told your friend about it...go ask him. who stopped it?- what do you think? your husband? he did not know about the workor the boys. boys? there were others. for the last time,where is the money? there is 2,000 in the almirah,take it and leave! next time you come my husbandwill be waiting for you!

i haven't come for a handout! i want money thatis rightfully mine! so go and ask theone who has taken it. ask whom? your husband? he earns more in a day than youhave managed in all these months! go and ask your friend! the scoundrel evenlooked like a thief. don't lie. why do you lie?

did you learn anythingfrom me in all these months? apart from sex! our work can start again,leave now... think of your sisters. i am never sinkingback into your filth again! i want my money and i want it now! sarika, open the door. did you foresee this whileyou were planning your break in? sarika! open the door! i know there is someone inside!

open up! open up or i willcal in the neighbors! today the whole worldwill see your true colors... i will rub your face in dirt. come here. i don't care what peoplewill think of me... but you will never beable to face anyone again! put the knife in me! you don't have to kill me!insert it in a little bit!

sarika! i'll break open the door! he will kill both of us! good! we will die togetherlike star-crossed lovers! i am warning you forthe last time sarika! that felt good. first class first! it was never johnny who betrayedme...it has always been you. and today,you want to get away again. not this time!

this is mukesh. is johnny there? who, karpov? he took off. to mauritius. the lucky *#@$...!!!ran into a bag of cash! johnny! brother, we have reached. where are you?

we have been waitingoutside the train station. are you coming? wait there, i am on my way. he is the one, sir. hey! stop! how much longer dowe have to wait here? do you want us towait here all night? we will have fun skinningyou alive tonight! you runt!

why are you not answering? nowhere to run now *#@$...!!!

sex education un



what i'd like to do today is talkabout one of my favorite subjects, and that is the neuroscience of sleep. now, there is a sound -- (alarm clock) ah, it worked!



sex education un

sex education un, a sound that is desperatelyfamiliar to most of us, and of course it's the soundof the alarm clock. and what that truly ghastly,awful sound does is stop the single most importantbehavioral experience


that we have, and that's sleep. if you're an average sort of person, 36 percent of your lifewill be spent asleep, which means that if you live to 90, then 32 years will havebeen spent entirely asleep. now what that 32 years is telling usis that sleep at some level is important. and yet, for most of us,we don't give sleep a second thought. we throw it away. we really just don't think about sleep.


and so what i'd like to do todayis change your views, change your ideasand your thoughts about sleep. and the journeythat i want to take you on, we need to start by going back in time. "enjoy the honey-heavy dew of slumber." any ideas who said that? shakespeare's julius caesar. yes, let me give you a few more quotes. "o sleep, o gentle sleep,nature's soft nurse,


how have i frighted thee?" shakespeare again, from --i won't say it -- the scottish play. (laughter) from the same time: "sleep is the golden chainthat ties health and our bodies together." extremely prophetic, by thomas dekker,another elizabethan dramatist. but if we jump forward 400 years, the tone about sleep changes somewhat.


this is from thomas edison,from the beginning of the 20th century: "sleep is a criminal waste of timeand a heritage from our cave days." bang! and if we also jump into the 1980s,some of you may remember that margaret thatcherwas reported to have said, "sleep is for wimps." and of course the infamous --what was his name? -- the infamous gordon gekkofrom "wall street" said, "money never sleeps."


what do we do in the 20thcentury about sleep? well, of course, we usethomas edison's light bulb to invade the night,and we occupied the dark, and in the process of this occupation, we've treated sleep as an illness, almost. we've treated it as an enemy. at most now, i suppose,we tolerate the need for sleep, and at worst perhapsmany of us think of sleep as an illness that needssome sort of a cure.


and our ignorance about sleepis really quite profound. why is it? why do we abandonsleep in our thoughts? well, it's because you don't do anythingmuch while you're asleep, it seems. you don't eat. you don't drink. and you don't have sex. well, most of us anyway. and so, therefore it's -- sorry. it's a complete waste of time, right?


wrong. actually, sleep is an incrediblyimportant part of our biology, and neuroscientistsare beginning to explain why it's so very important. so let's move to the brain. now, here we have a brain. this is donated by a social scientist, and they said they didn't know whatit was or indeed, how to use it, so -- so i borrowed it.


i don't think they noticed. ok. the point i'm trying to makeis that when you're asleep, this thing doesn't shut down. in fact, some areas of the brainare actually more active during the sleep statethan during the wake state. the other thing that's reallyimportant about sleep is that it doesn't arise from a singlestructure within the brain, but is to some extent a network property. if we flip the brain on its back --


i love this little bitof spinal cord here -- this bit here is the hypothalamus, and right under there is a whole raftof interesting structures, not least the biological clock. the biological clock tells uswhen it's good to be up, when it's good to be asleep, and what that structure does is interact with a whole raft of other areaswithin the hypothalamus, the lateral hypothalamus,the ventrolateral preoptic nuclei.


all of those combine, and they send projectionsdown to the brain stem here. the brain stem then projects forward and bathes the cortex,this wonderfully wrinkly bit over here, with neurotransmitters that keep us awake and essentially provide uswith our consciousness. so sleep arises from a whole raft of different interactionswithin the brain, and essentially,sleep is turned on and off


as a result of a rangeof interactions in here. ok. so where have we got to? we've said that sleep is complicated and it takes 32 years of our life. but what i haven't explainedis what sleep is about. so why do we sleep? and it won't surpriseany of you that, of course, as scientists, we don't have a consensus. there are dozens of different ideasabout why we sleep,


and i'm going to outline three of those. the first is sort of the restoration idea, and it's somewhat intuitive. essentially, all the stuffwe've burned up during the day, we restore, we replace,we rebuild during the night. and indeed, as an explanation,it goes back to aristotle, so that's what -- 2,300 years ago. it's gone in and out of fashion. it's fashionable at the moment


because what's been shownis that within the brain, a whole raft of genes have been shownto be turned on only during sleep, and those genes are associatedwith restoration and metabolic pathways. so there's good evidencefor the whole restoration hypothesis. what about energy conservation? again, perhaps intuitive. you essentially sleep to save calories. now, when you do the sums,though, it doesn't really pan out. if you compare an individualwho has slept at night,


or stayed awakeand hasn't moved very much, the energy saving of sleepingis about 110 calories a night. now, that's the equivalentof a hot dog bun. now, i would say that a hot dog bun is kind of a meager return for such a complicatedand demanding behavior as sleep. so i'm less convincedby the energy conservation idea. but the third idea i'm quite attracted to, which is brain processingand memory consolidation.


what we know is that,if after you've tried to learn a task, and you sleep-deprive individuals, the ability to learn that task is smashed. it's really hugely attenuated. so sleep and memory consolidationis also very important. however, it's not justthe laying down of memory and recalling it. what's turned out to be really exciting is that our ability to come upwith novel solutions to complex problems


is hugely enhanced by a night of sleep. in fact, it's been estimatedto give us a threefold advantage. sleeping at night enhances our creativity. and what seems to be going onis that, in the brain, those neural connectionsthat are important, those synaptic connectionsthat are important, are linked and strengthened, while those that are less importanttend to fade away and be less important. ok.


so we've had three explanationsfor why we might sleep, and i think the important thing to realizeis that the details will vary, and it's probable we sleepfor multiple different reasons. but sleep is not an indulgence. it's not some sort of thing that we cantake on board rather casually. i think that sleep was oncelikened to an upgrade from economy to business class,you know, the equivalent of. it's not even an upgradefrom economy to first class. the critical thing to realize is thatif you don't sleep,


you don't fly. essentially, you never get there. and what's extraordinaryabout much of our society these days is that we are desperately sleep-deprived. so let's now look at sleep deprivation. huge sectors of societyare sleep-deprived, and let's look at our sleep-o-meter. so in the 1950s, good datasuggests that most of us were getting around eight hoursof sleep a night.


nowadays, we sleep one and a halfto two hours less every night, so we're in the six-and-a-half-hoursevery-night league. for teenagers, it's worse, much worse. they need nine hoursfor full brain performance, and many of them, on a school night,are only getting five hours of sleep. it's simply not enough. if we think about other sectorsof society -- the aged; if you are aged, then your abilityto sleep in a single block is somewhat disrupted,and many sleep, again,


less than five hours a night. shift work. shift work is extraordinary, perhaps 20 percentof the working population, and the body clock does not shiftto the demands of working at night. it's locked onto the samelight-dark cycle as the rest of us. so when the poor oldshift worker is going home to try and sleep during the day,desperately tired, the body clock is saying,"wake up. this is the time to be awake."


so the quality of sleepthat you get as a night shift worker is usually very poor,again in that sort of five-hour region. and then, of course, tens of millionsof people suffer from jet lag. so who here has jet lag? well, my goodness gracious. well, thank you very muchindeed for not falling asleep, because that's what your brain is craving. one of the things that the brain doesis indulge in micro-sleeps, this involuntary falling asleep,


and you have essentiallyno control over it. now, micro-sleeps can be sortof somewhat embarrassing, but they can also be deadly. it's been estimatedthat 31 percent of drivers will fall asleep at the wheelat least once in their life, and in the us, the statisticsare pretty good: 100,000 accidents on the freewayhave been associated with tiredness, loss of vigilance, and falling asleep --a hundred thousand a year. it's extraordinary.


at another level of terror, we dip into the tragicaccidents at chernobyl and indeed the space shuttle challenger, which was so tragically lost. and in the investigationsthat followed those disasters, poor judgment as a resultof extended shift work and loss of vigilance and tiredness was attributed to a big chunkof those disasters. when you're tired and you lack sleep,


you have poor memory,you have poor creativity, you have increased impulsiveness, and you have overall poor judgment. but my friends,it's so much worse than that. if you are a tired brain, the brain is craving things to wake it up. so drugs, stimulants. caffeine representsthe stimulant of choice across much of the western world.


much of the day is fueled by caffeine, and if you're a really naughtytired brain, nicotine. of course, you're fueling the waking statewith these stimulants, and then, of course, it getsto 11 o'clock at night, and the brain says to itself, "actually, i needto be asleep fairly shortly. what do we do about thatwhen i'm feeling completely wired?" well, of course,you then resort to alcohol. now alcohol, short-term,you know, once or twice,


to use to mildly sedate you,can be very useful. it can actually ease the sleep transition. but what you must be so aware ofis that alcohol doesn't provide sleep. a biological mimic for sleep, it sedates you. so it actually harmssome of the neural processing that's going on during memoryconsolidation and memory recall. so it's a short-term acute measure, but for goodness sake,


don't become addicted to alcohol as a way of getting to sleep every night. another connectionbetween loss of sleep is weight gain. if you sleep aroundabout five hours or less every night, then you have a 50 percentlikelihood of being obese. what's the connection here? well, sleep loss seems to give riseto the release of the hormone ghrelin, the hunger hormone. ghrelin is released.


it gets to the brain. the brain says, "i need carbohydrates," and what it does is seek out carbohydratesand particularly sugars. so there's a link between tiredness and the metabolic predispositionfor weight gain: stress. tired people are massively stressed. and one of the things of stress,of course, is loss of memory, which is what i sort of just thenhad a little lapse of. but stress is so much more.


so, if you're acutely stressed,not a great problem, but it's sustained stress associatedwith sleep loss that's the problem. sustained stress leadsto suppressed immunity. and so, tired people tend to havehigher rates of overall infection, and there's some very good studies showing that shift workers, for example,have higher rates of cancer. increased levels of stressthrow glucose into the circulation. glucose becomes a dominant partof the vasculature and essentially you becomeglucose intolerant.


therefore, diabetes 2. stress increases cardiovascular diseaseas a result of raising blood pressure. so there's a whole raft of thingsassociated with sleep loss that are more than justa mildly impaired brain, which is where i think most people thinkthat sleep loss resides. so at this point in the talk,this is a nice time to think, "well, do you think on the wholei'm getting enough sleep?" so a quick show of hands. who feels that they're gettingenough sleep here?


oh. well, that's pretty impressive. good. we'll talk more about that later,about what are your tips. so most of us, of course,ask the question, "how do i know whetheri'm getting enough sleep?" well, it's not rocket science. if you need an alarm clock to getyou out of bed in the morning, if you are taking a long time to get up, if you need lots of stimulants, if you're grumpy, if you're irritable,


if you're told by your work colleaguesthat you're looking tired and irritable, chances are you are sleep-deprived. listen to them. listen to yourself. what do you do? well -- and this is slightly offensive -- sleep for dummies. make your bedroom a haven for sleep. the first critical thing is make itas dark as you possibly can, and also make it slightly cool.


very important. actually, reduce your amountof light exposure at least half an hourbefore you go to bed. light increases levels of alertnessand will delay sleep. what's the last thing that most of usdo before we go to bed? we stand in a massively lit bathroom, looking into the mirrorcleaning our teeth. it's the worst thing we can possibly dobefore we go to sleep. turn off those mobile phones.turn off those computers.


turn off all of those thingsthat are also going to excite the brain. try not to drink caffeinetoo late in the day, ideally not after lunch. now, we've set about reducing lightexposure before you go to bed, but light exposure in the morning is very good at setting the biologicalclock to the light-dark cycle. so seek out morning light. basically, listen to yourself. wind down.


do those sorts of things that you know are going to ease you off into the honey-heavy dew of slumber. that's some facts. what about some myths? teenagers are lazy. no. poor things. they have a biological predispositionto go to bed late and get up late, so give them a break. we need eight hours of sleep a night.


that's an average. some people need more.some people need less. and what you need to dois listen to your body. do you need that much or do you need more? simple as that. old people need less sleep. not true. the sleep demands of the ageddo not go down. essentially, sleep fragmentsand becomes less robust,


but sleep requirements do not go down. and the fourth mythis early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. well, that's wrongat so many different levels. there is no evidence that getting up earlyand going to bed early gives you more wealth at all. there's no differencein socioeconomic status. in my experience, the only difference between morningpeople and evening people


is that those people that get upin the morning early are just horribly smug. (applause) so for the last few minutes, what i want to do is change gears and talk about some really new,breaking areas of neuroscience, which is the associationbetween mental health, mental illness and sleep disruption. we've known for 130 yearsthat in severe mental illness,


there is always, always sleep disruption, but it's been largely ignored. in the 1970s, when people startedto think about this again, they said, "yes, well, of course you havesleep disruption in schizophrenia, because they're on antipsychotics. it's the antipsychotics causingthe sleep problems," ignoring the fact thatfor a hundred years previously, sleep disruption had been reportedbefore antipsychotics. so what's going on?


several groups are studying conditions like depression,schizophrenia and bipolar and what's going onin terms of sleep disruption. we have a big study which we publishedlast year on schizophrenia, and the data were quite extraordinary. in those individuals with schizophrenia, much of the time, they were awakeduring the night phase and then they were asleep during the day. other groups showed no 24-hourpatterns whatsoever --


their sleep was absolutely smashed. and some had no ability to regulatetheir sleep by the light-dark cycle. they were getting up later and laterand later and later each night. it was smashed. and the really exciting news is that mental illness and sleepare not simply associated, but they are physically linkedwithin the brain. the neural networks that predisposeyou to normal sleep, give you normal sleep,


and those that give you normalmental health, are overlapping. and what's the evidence for that? well, genes that have been shown to be very importantin the generation of normal sleep, when mutated, when changed, also predispose individualsto mental health problems. and last year, we published a study which showed that a genethat's been linked to schizophrenia, when mutated, also smashes the sleep.


so we have evidenceof a genuine mechanistic overlap between these two important systems. other work flowed from these studies. the first was that sleep disruption actually precedes certain typesof mental illness, and we've shown thatin those young individuals who are at high riskof developing bipolar disorder, they already have a sleep abnormality prior to any clinicaldiagnosis of bipolar.


the other bit of datawas that sleep disruption may actually exacerbate, make worse,the mental illness state. my colleague dan freemanhas used a range of agents which have stabilized sleepand reduced levels of paranoia in those individuals by 50 percent. so what have we got? we've got, in these connections,some really exciting things. in terms of the neuroscience, by understanding these two systems,


we're really beginning to understandhow both sleep and mental illness are generated and regulatedwithin the brain. the second areais that if we can use sleep and sleep disruptionas an early warning signal, then we have the chance of going in. if we know these individualsare vulnerable, early intervention then becomes possible. and the third, which i thinkis the most exciting, is that we can thinkof the sleep centers within the brain


as a new therapeutic target. stabilize sleep in those individualswho are vulnerable, we can certainly make them healthier, but also alleviate some of the appallingsymptoms of mental illness. so let me just finish. what i started by saying is:take sleep seriously. our attitudes toward sleepare so very different from a pre-industrial age, when we were almost wrapped in a duvet.


we used to understand intuitivelythe importance of sleep. and this isn't some sortof crystal-waving nonsense. this is a pragmatic responseto good health. if you have good sleep,it increases your concentration, attention, decision-making,creativity, social skills, health. if you get sleep, it reducesyour mood changes, your stress, your levels of anger, your impulsivity, and your tendency to drink and take drugs. and we finished by saying


that an understandingof the neuroscience of sleep is really informing the way we think about some of the causesof mental illness, and indeed is providing us new ways to treat these incrediblydebilitating conditions. jim butcher, the fantasy writer, said, "sleep is god. go worship." and i can only recommendthat you do the same. thank you for your attention.



sex education uk news



(loud and intense lovemaking) roommates: grab her! i'm going to pull your hair! it's my turn! i called it! bitch! whoa. roommate: fuck you, kate!



sex education uk news

sex education uk news, you're going to bounce up and down like this. yoga instructor: can you feel that? you feel the pressure? the air almost shooting through your vagina? yo. bill. you got my magazines?


stormy's mom: you're not even dressed. now i have to drive you to school. mom. dean... ... what are you thinking? i'm thinking... ... now what? dean: i panicked. it was a dumb thing to say. i know.


i don't even know what it means. well... here's what it means. it means that she is never going to call you again, player. i'm not a player. i'm not. so this isn't the third girl that you banged... ... who you hardly even knew? so what? well, that's three girls that you dicked!


three girls make... dean: milo, that's like the worst thing you can call a guy. you remember her name, right? of course i know her name. it's ellen. you're an asshole. isn't... isn't it? no! who's a player? he is.


hi, player. really? lolly: i'm pretty stoked about this class. sex ed in college? you know, i don't know what i'm more excited about... ... the numerous opportunities for hilarious awkwardness or the easy a. tell me you're here for the awkwardness. home economics was full. they have home economics?


kate: is it me or do freshmen get better looking every year? i'm a freshman. and thank you. not you. wonderful. and the awkwardness begins. that's pretty. good morning, class. this is "your body and you." trevase: or "the philosophy of the body." or whatever innocuous title the advisers gave it. i don't know.


let's just call it what it is, shall we? this is... "sex... "...ed." trevase: a cake course. an easy a. why? because you're all having sex in one way or the other. i mean, after all, that's what you're supposed to be doing. trevase: and if you haven't reached the maturity level of actually doing the nasty then... ... hopefully you're on your way. in any case...


... your level of advancement... ... is of no consequence... ... because i'm starting you all off with fs. trevase: the truth is not one of you... ... here in this classroom knows what you're doing. none. nada. nyet. that's the first lesson. the second lesson... is this. rex, would you mind?


trevase: this year i'm doing things a bit differently... trevase: i'm throwing out the textbook... trevase: if any of you bought the book you've wasted your money. why aren't we using the book? because... ... quite frankly... it's shit. trevase: this year... you're going to teach me. i want to know what you know. i want to... feel what it's like... to be you...


... in your time... in your bodies... trevase: i want to see what you see through your own eyes. but in order for you to do that for me... ... first you have to learn to see yourselves. um... what is... what is this? water-soaked soil. body without spirit. trevase: clay for the rest of you. now i want you to pair up...


... by the time i count to ten. one... trevase: ... two... trevase: ... three... trevase: .... four... trevase: .... five... trevase: .... six... trevase: ... seven... eight, nine, ten.


everybody have a partner? all right. this class meets twice a week. today is tuesday. by next class, which is thursday... ... i want you all to come back... ... with sculptures of each other's genitals. you may describe it to each other. you may draw it for each other. you can... ... show it to each other. you know, play doctor like you used to.


i don't care! boys, it has to be the actual size. trevase: and girls, i don't want a vagina... ... represented by a tulip or a snowflake. this is not the vagina monologues and i hate georgia o'keefe. yes? is this a joke? of course not. you people shape your entire lives around this section of your body...


... so why not introduce it to the world? i think it's sick. i think it sounds cool. al: what if we don't do it? what if we refuse? you can't make us do this. this is my class. trevase: if anybody has a problem with this... ... you can get the hell out now. any other questions?


uh.... why? would you prefer i ran a sixteen-millimeter film... ... of reproduction for you? trevase: or would you rather just cut right through the bullshit... ... and get to the real thing? i mean the part that involves fucking. trevase: real, dirty, messy,... ... complicated, confusing fucking. you are deranged.


i am. but it's okay because i have tenure. anyway... ... if any of you at all have any other complaints... ... the administration office is right down the hall. or you can write to the board of trustees... and there's also rex over here if you have any questions. goodbye and good luck. like i said, easy a!


all right, would you say it looks more like gonzo's nose... ... or a turtle head poking out of its shell? milo! girth. is it like baby carrots or do you need two hands to pee? i'm average. if you're going to do me, just do me like that. what's average? you know... six.


okay. if you say so. what are you? not six. flaccid? we're supposed to do flaccid? i'm not sculpting a full hard-on! why not? i'm not doing it. have some pity, man. i'm the one holding the short end of the stick.


your short stick. it's not... i'm not... (milo speaks gibberish) look, this class was supposed to fulfill my science requirement. it was either this or biology and i suck at biology... ... so now my gpa is riding on my penis. how are we going to settle this? sculpt your own and we trade 'em. deal.


(phone ringing) al: excuse me one second, guys. i have to take this. hello? lolly: al? this is lolly. do you want to do the whole drawing thing because personally i can't draw so i prefer if we exchange pictures... i don't - i don't have a camera so... yeah me neither actually. so i guess we'll have to do the whole doctor thing. look, um... right now is not a good time for me and the rest of my day is totally swamped. lolly: well look, she gave us the clay...


... and assigned us the homework and i always do my homework. you want to meet around four-ish? look. i gotta go. mimosa hall. lounge. around four. i'll see you then. bring your penis! hi. i'm in your sex ed class. yeah. i know. i'm billy. billy henry.


stormy. and yes, that is my real name. and no , my parents aren't hippies... ... and no, they didn't get it from watching porn. they're armenian. here's my address. you can come over for dinner if you want... ... or not. yeah, then i guess we could... or you can whip it out right now.


i'm late for a class. i gotta... bye, billy-two-first-names. kate: is this you? you're a model? yep. for a time my job was my body. that's quite the provocative ad for bubble gum. oh no, this is flavored condoms. see? sarah ann: in my younger days i never turned anything down. i knew that i had to make as much money ... ... as i possibly could before i got too old...


... and reached the cut-off age. like when you reached... thirty? thirty? it's over now. don't touch that. that's why i'm learning japanese. you're kidding. in japan they love big american girls. you know this. sarah ann: and if you go over there and play it right...


... you can be one of those game show girls. sarah ann: you never know unless you try. it's like you guys say... "unmei no megami wa yuusha ni mikata suru." "fortune favors the brave." was i close? i'm not japanese. no japanese? anywhere?


(turns laptop on) what is going on in the world? computer: you got mail. dean: angelpoet286. eileen's voice: i'm sorry but things happened so quickly. .. eileen's voice: ... wouldn't mind doing it again... eileen's voice: ... here are some pics to wet your appetite. computer: you got pictures... you got pictures... you got pictures... oh... my... god...


so how are we going to do this? i have no intention of showing you my twat. me neither. so what do you propose? vodka... ... and hand mirrors. each looks at her own and describes to the other what they see. okay. and what's the vodka for? what's the long name?


coca cola. we win. he won! that's good. mom? mom, we're going to go do some homework. upstairs. thanks for the tea. (armenian game show music plays) sarah ann: oh my god.


what? what is it? oh my god. kate: what? what do you see? sarah ann: that's the thing. i don't see anything! there's... there's nothing exposed. everything's inside. you know, like there's nothing hanging out.


sarah ann: it's amazing. i missed out on so many bikini shoots, let me tell you. god, it's just like it's so smooth! sarah ann: you know what it is? it's perfect. how's yours? same. stormy's mom: stormy... ... what are you doing?


stormy: oh, nothing mom... ... we're just doing homework. stormy's mom: do you want some sandwiches? i made some sandwiches. no! no, we don't want sandwiches. it's getting late. i'm going to leave them here. i'm not coming up here again. you get hungry, there they are. stormy: thank you.


are you almost done? i think so. (dog barks) hey, buddy. hey, buddy. what are you doing? milo: you want to see what's inside? milo: hey! hey! get outta that! (dog growling) hey! hey, hey, hey! hey, that's my cock! oh, come on! what the hell!


come back here! hey! goddammit! son of a bitch! how's your cock? you're from class, right? no, just a random chick with a juice box asking about your wang. it's not going too well actually. how's your...? vagina?


not so good. i think we've been stood up. cheers to us! (glasses clink) ohhhhh.... ..... ohhhhh!.... ... who's my little baby...? yes, who's my little perfect baby? who's a perfect vagina - ? do you know what a hooded clit is?


a hooded what? it's really not that uncommon. but then what would you know about common? it's where the so-called "normal" membrane... ... right... here... stop it... what are you doing... ... here... extends down... ... further... than it should... ... like this.


that is disgusting! my vagina does not look like that! but mine does! twat nazi! suppose there's this guy... a "friend" of yours? yeah, yeah... a friend... ... and he sleeps with a girl on a first date... he hooks up? right. wait. i thought "hook up" was a bj.


wait. what year are you? sophomore. oh. that explains it. it's sexual intercourse now. oh. go on. so... she sends him this email saying she's seeing someone else... ... totally unbeknownst to the guy... ... but she's not against.. you know, "hooking up" again...


... and to seal the deal she sends him these pics... ... of a... of her... tits? yeah. some were. most were... um... the pink? yes. she's a player. your friend boned a player. yes! thank you!


she's the player! thank you for that. it's fantastic news. thank you. it doesn't mean you're not a player for banging her. i mean, she used you... ... but it doesn't make you better than her... ... i meant... "the friend." stormy: i'd never seen one before... ... not in person.... and not in my bedroom. billy: i'd done nude figure drawing...


... but from a distance... i'd never done sculpture and i wanted to get it right. i'm not saying it was a letdown... ... it wasn't. it's an odd thing... the vagina... ... it's... it's so small... billy: ... like a quarter... blink and you miss it. it's a strange feeling of accomplishment. but at the same time it's like...


... what's the fuss? what's the fuss? that was the purpose of the assignment wasn't it? you can take a seat now. since the rest of the class decided not to do the assignment... ... you are the new adam and eve of our class. congratulations. does that make you god? seriously? kate: because you certainly act like it...


... forcing us to do this bullshit assignment. you have your own free will, darling. some things are meant to be private. kate: when we expose our differences it's just another reason to be judged. because not all of us are born the same. some of us are born normal... ... and some of us are born out of the sports illustrated swimsuit catalogue.... ... which is a pretty big advantage if you ask me. oh, fuck you!


sarah ann: you know, you love being different because it gives you something to complain about. oh, but would i trade it for perfection in two seconds? gee, let me think. i never said i was perfect. "oh... look at my perfect vagina!" kate: "it's sooooo perfect..." "gee, i sure am glad i'm not one of those unfortunate people with an imperfect vagina!" at least yours works! try getting pelvic inflammatory disease at twelve...


sarah ann: ... having a scarred uterus that will probably... ... never do its job. try constantly worrying about that next infection... .. .the one that could possibly kill you. you can imagine how popular i am on the weekends with my "perfect" vagina. oh, now who's complaining? still you! grieving about your fucking cloaked clit! hooded, you ignorant cow! (book slamming to floor)


does anybody else agree with kate? that this assignment was bullshit? all right, al. first hand up. tell me, why was it bullshit? well, because we're more than our bodies. if you focus on the physical and only the physical... ... then you ignore our humanity. al: i define my body. my body doesn't define me. al: i rule it. i control it.


my urges and desires have absolutely nothing to do with who i am... ... because they don't reflect my behavior. is this guy saying that he doesn't like... whack off? no. al: i don't abuse my body. sex outside the confines of marriage is wrong. period. my heavenly father jesus christ provided me this body for the short term... ... until he decides to call me home into his kingdom.


it's always the good-looking ones. trevase: are you saying that the body is a by-product of the soul? i know it is. that's not the thrust of this class. and you know that. why do you want to be here? because i deserve an education... ... and you told us at the beginning of this course that this course was designed to teach you as well... al: ... so i guess you deserve an education too...


... and... maybe i can contribute to that. by telling me that i'm not my body? i know i'm not. okay, dean, spill your guts. i mean, that's it. i am my body. there's nothing else to spill. it's here. today. it's doing pretty good. tomorrow, who knows? it might not be here anymore. so if people want to use it, then yeah, they should.


dean: it's like my dad when he was... ... he was lying in his bed, dying of alzheimer's... ... in one of his last lucid moments he said to me... ..."never deny a woman who wants to fuck you..." dean: "... no matter what..." "... because if we're dead and that's it..." "... we would kick our own asses for passing up sex." i'm just saying, man, you know, if this is all we got... ... you should use it while you got it.


al: are you talking to just hear yourself talking... ... or do you believe this crap? al: do you not understand that every body has a soul? don't tell me about souls floating into the clouds because... ... i watched my father slowly crack open... dean: ... every piece of him peeling away until he was nothing but an empty shell.. my dad was long gone before he died so don't... ... the soul... the soul disintegrates with the body. all we can do is have our fun...


... you know, make good choices and do our best... ... not to hurt people in the process. rex: professor trevase? professor trevase? yeah... hard to say what the purpose of the assignment was... trevase: it was something that i thought we would arrive at together, the few of us that are left. a dog ate mine. dean: i mean, i can do a report... ... anything to help with my f.


trevase: what f? you passed. trevase: so did everybody else. i didn't do the project... i don't get it. there's more than one way to expose yourselves. (tango music plays) (trevase laughs) trevase: you gotta lighten up.


trevase: i mean, that's what sex is all about. trevase: it's supposed to do that for you. trevase: i'll see you in a couple days. this class is finished. trevase: let me guess. you're here to ask my permission... ... to withdraw from my class because it's obscene. announcer: next week the semester continues. trevase: sex is a matter of life and death. eileen: our safety word will be popcorn.


(whip crack) eileen: say my name and tell me that you love my kitty. dean: i love your kitty... you. eileen: you don't know my name, do you? is that a problem? lolly: i have a very sensitive flower... lolly: and when i wear tight jeans wherever i walk it's like... hello, big o! freakish, right?


(slaps dean on head) trevase: dean? come with me. trevase: i want you to be with me.. ... tonight. okay. going now. just wait. announcer: sex ed. log on to watch unrated webisodes... ... take our weekly sex quiz...


... and pick up your next homework assignment. popcorn! trevase: that was this week's class, next week will... ... i'm going to let you see what's going to happen.


sex education uk age



'many parents raise their kids on a diet of discipline...' it's our responsibility to be in control of the music they listen to, the movies they watch and the friends they have. '..rigid boundaries...' i'm not your friend. i'm your parent.



sex education uk age

sex education uk age, '..and immediate consequences.' my dad is really strict. if you break the rules he is very scary. 'can traditional parenting change the lives of rebellious british teenagers?' i was brought here on this earth to party.


she can be an absolute nightmare. it's awful. my lifestyle is playing xbox, getting hammered and having sex. yeah, i went to anger management. got kicked out of anger management for being angry. not even the queen of england can tell me what to do. he's slapped me. he's poked me. he's pushed me. i am what i am. if you don't like it, then jog on. 'to find out, two teens who've never met before 'will leave their families...'


- maybe she'll come home and be nice. - doubt it. '..and head off to a world 'where they will live according to strict rules set by new parents.' you are not in the uk. you are in barbados! the most awful people i've met in my whole life. she can have her hissy fit. this is our rule. if you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it. what are you going to do? i'm not going to argue with that psychotic bitch.


if this is how they are, i'm sorry for britain. this programme contains some strong language. '17-year-old sevda huseyin thinks the world revolves around her.' i love being centre of attention. i love it. if i'm not, i'll make myself centre of attention. everything has got to be about sev. she can be selfish. it's going to be mad tonight! oh, my god! 'coming from east london, she's learned to stick up for herself.'


she likes to put on the impression that she's hard - but she is. - i had a fight with that shopkeeper. - so did i. 'everyone's got their guard up.' i had a fight in wood green, in finsbury park. oh! everywhere, man! i can't even remember half of them. i'm gonna go raving tonight. i look sexy... sev talks the gangsta talk. everyone come out your house, yeah. bang bang, yeah. it can be embarrassing. "talk properly!"


people say my attitude stinks. i love my attitude. it's who i am. 'sevda's dropped out of school without a single gcse.' school was shit! it was shit. hate school. you've got no education behind you. nothing. i can't be bothered, mum, to hear it again. it does my head in. 'when sevda was a baby, her father went home to turkey.' 'when it comes to my dad, obviously, i've got anger problems.' it's made me think people lash out at you, lash out back at them. 'hard-working single mum joan is worried she's going nowhere fast.'


she doesn't care. it's really... something's shading over her. she wants to do what she wants to do and that's it. 'in the heart of sussex, '17-year-old andrew harwood is loving the drop-out lifestyle.' at the moment in my life, not much is going on. average day in my life - wake up midday, an hour lying in bed smoking, couple of drinks, head to my girlfriend's house, start drinking, smoke, be up till five. that's a pretty good day. andrew wouldn't pick a thing from the floor.


'the state of his room is a disaster.' - andrew, look at this! - all right. - dirty underpants. what the hell? 'andrew's parents were well-off and he had privileged upbringing.' he has had the chance to experience amazing things around the world. i like the way i've been raised. i wouldn't want to live in a council flat. 'andrew was a promising student, but he blew his education.' i can't remember how many gcses i've got. three or something? i basically wasted 120 grand of my parents' money in private school.


with all the pain in my heart, i feel highly disappointed. 'four years ago, his parents separated. the privileges stopped.' i went to a normal state school. stereotype chavs. they were foul. 'andrew still sees his dad, but his attitude to his mum leaves a lot to be desired.' andrew has been sometimes horrible. 'it's really upsetting.' - this is a reflection of how messy your life is, honey. - it's my room! it's just a mess! i don't want to turn out like her or dad. they have their good parts but they're both incredibly flawed.


'claudia worries andrew has given up on himself.' as a parent, i'm facing something that is frightening me. 'he's not going anywhere. masses of potential wasted.' 'to try and get their teenagers to do something positive, 'both mums have agreed to send them to strict parents in another country.' goodbye, mother. it would be rather nice to see him to realise his potential, to know that he can achieve so much more. listen, i'm going to say bye.


- crying: - bye, mum! - and be good. don't let us down. all right? - all right. i'm hoping that she has more respect for everybody. gets rid of the attitude and learns to appreciate me a bit more. hi. i'm sevda. - yeah. i'm good. how are you? - i'm fine. - nice. - are you nervous? - i'm shitting myself. 'the teens will be travelling 5,000 miles to san antonio, texas, 'to stay with the frazees, a deeply religious conservative family.'


the role of god in our family life is central. we're very faith based. 'randy is pastor at the local megachurch, 'while his wife roseanne raises their children david and austin. 'eldest daughter jennifer has left home but frequently visits.' thank you for tonight, the opportunity of getting together. amen. 'the frazees like to set an example to families in the community.' we're not just trying to be a family for the sake of our own family. we have a broader community that's counting on us.


one thing that's important that our do kids know is that we love them unconditionally. 'the frazees operate a system of trust for their children's access to money and credit cards.' - this is my gas money that i spent. - you used the credit card? - yup. - i appreciate you being honest about that, son. we found that trust is a principle that has worked for us as parents. when they prove to be trustworthy, we give them more freedoms. when they prove to be untrustworthy, we take those freedoms away. my parents are very...understanding. and i want to be like them when i grow older.


understanding what a child is going through is hard for a parent. 'in the house, mum roseanne is in charge.' austin, would you go wash a little bit, please? part of loving your children is not giving them everything they want. 'the way we show that we love them is by setting guidelines.' if you finish the dish washing we'll get dinner on the table quicker. 'these rules and boundaries can produce a place of laughter that's positive.' it doesn't always have to be hard. 'after eight hours, the teens finally arrive in texas.'


we're in texas, you know. - pretty fucking stressful. - stuck-up snobs. if they tell me what to do, i'm gonna show them what's what, innit? - that's how we do it. - word. 'the "buckle of the bible belt", texas is one of the most conservative states in america. '77% of the population are christian 'and attend one of the 11,000 churches.' i feel like i'm surrounded by god. i feel like there's god everywhere. i'd laugh if we got sent to one of those churches.


a tiny church and the biggest cross! it's like driving to hell. are we here? we're not, are we? they're comin'. they're there. oh, my god. home, sweet home. joke. oh, my god. i don't want to get out the car. i'm gonna cry. everyone: hello. - roseanne: how are you? - i'm fine. - welcome, guys. - i'm roseanne.


- i'm randy. - hi, randy. - we're the mom and dad of the family. andrew, nice to meet you. first of all, welcome to texas. - this is our daughter, jennifer. - i like your hair. - thank you. - we have david back here. he is our oldest son. - hello, david. david just graduated from university, magna cum laude. this is austin. he's just turned 18. he's doing an internship at the southwest research institute, which is a space centre. glad to have you guys here. it's going to be a fun time.


'for the next seven days, the teens will be staying in the frazees' immaculate mansion.' obviously, the kitchen, where we hang out and get some great food. - walk-in closets. - oh. my. days! oh, shit! jacuzzi tubs. oh, my word. this is proper nice. - this is our outside living area. i think you'll enjoy this. - wow! 'for the frazees, 30 years of righteous hard work has reaped its rewards.' - these are books that i've written. - sevda gasps


i am a pastor, a minister of a megachurch here in texas. - megachurch! - our church is 10,000 folks. - you'll get a chance to experience that. - i can't. i'm not christian. that's ok. you don't have to be christian. - i don't want to pray. - you don't have to do that. you just need to go. i'm going to take you, sevda, to your room back here. 'as texans, the frazees believe in southern hospitality.' you have your own room and your own walk-in closet and private bathroom. oh, my god!


this is our upstairs room. - and i think you'll like it. - oh, my god! - that's a 62-inch flat screen. we're not going to let you watch a lot of television. - wow. i walk in. it's literally like a five-star hotel. yeah? and then you've got the dad. he looked at me like he thinks, "she's going to be a problem." they've all got such big qualifications. they're going to massive colleges and schools.


they've all got, like... in england, the highest aspiration is work in mcdonald or tesco's. here, they're, like, going to the top of what you can get to. - aren't you nervous? - i have anxiety. - of course i'm nervous. - i've got anxiety as well. i'm feeling really nervous. 'the fifth commandment states, "honour thy mother and thy father."' hey, andrew and sevda? we're ready for you. 'the frazees expect the teens to agree to follow their rules.'


because i'm a pastor, we have a unique position in the community. we've spent years building a reputation, and we'd like you to help us maintain that. no swearing or bad language. we want our language to be uplifting. - so we'd really like for you to honour what we will do. - of course. no drinking. again, under-age. you have to be 21 in texas, so we can't have you do that. no smoking inside or outside the house. in texas, unless you're over the age of 18, it's illegal. if you look at any of them as the biggest, it's not lying, it's trust.


trust is the...is the ace for us. if you're trustworthy in our home, you get more privileges. if you prove untrustworthy, you'll see that other side of us where, for your sake, we're buckling down. - ok? - of course. so your first opportunity to demonstrate trust to us... trust. if there are things that you have that would challenge these rules, i'm going to ask you in a moment to go get it and surrender it. you're dismissed. come back and we'll be right here.


oh, no! a week! randy chuckles i can't do it. do you know what i'm gonna do? i'm gonna give a couple like this. oh! this is horrible! i'll hide this up here. for fuck's sake, man! it's dawning on me, the enormity of the situation. no cigarettes. i go through a box a day, easy. considerably stricter than home.


like, considerably so. so... yeah. that's all you have? i don't even have a box. you don't have anything in your suitcases or your rooms? - have one last smell. - goodbye. see me, yeah? i'm just wonderful. got my fags hidden somewhere! - ew. i'd never put them in the bin. - pardon? - i'd never put them in the bin! - you didn't think of that? see my silly little signs for my guests?


- very good. - nothing? it's clear in here. 'randy is due to speak in church, and the family will be joining him. 'as a figurehead in the community, he wants to make sure the teens give the best reflection on his family.' on saturday night i do a service. you're going to go to work with me. good behaviour would be the language thing. - as long as i don't have to pray to jesus. - no. 'randy leaves ten minutes early to make the preparations 'for the big saturday service in front of a congregation of 1,000.


'he expects the teens to be presentable and on time. 'sevda decides it's time to get changed.' - sevda? - hello. - it's five minutes. are you doing ok? - yeah. i'm just getting dressed. - awesome. see you in a minute. 'for andrew, the prospect of church is uncomfortable.' i've got no problem with religion. it's the people who worship those deities and religions. - sevda, how long do you think it will take? - oh, my god! there we go. 'for image-conscious sevda, making the right first impression is everything.'


you're about to fall out of there. you might want something over your shoulders. - what are you saying? - you probably need to rethink wearing that top. - they don't have to look. - i think men are created very differently. however, everyone is accepted at our church so you can wear that if you like. of course. i'd love to wear this. you're the one who's got an issue. - do you want a shawl in case it gets cold? - yeah. if she knew how the gentlemen would look at her, not just the boys but the older men,


and how it would play out in their minds, she would not be happy with what they might be thinking. that's a sad thing when sex and love are totally separated. 'the service has been running for ten minutes 'when the teens finally arrive.' covering up the chest! - roseanne: thank you, sevda. - that's all right. children, obey your parents and the lord, for this is right... 'a megachurch is a church with 2,000 or more regular worshippers.


'randy's is one of the largest in the united states.' you'll find all different kinds of people in different kinds of dress. you're not going to have to say anything. let's go stand in the back for a minute. - it's not that. it's just that i'm in a church! - you are! 'roseanne doesn't expect sevda to pray, but she does expect her to behave herself.' everyone's welcome. studies tell us that the greatest gift you can give to your children is to demonstrate to your children love...


- whispers: - i feel like i'm in a movie or something. - the music. - until he's finished, shut up! - you shut up! - don't say a word. no way! it's a fucking church! so what? i used to go to church. i had to whisper in church. 'with the service over, the congregation gather to greet randy and be introduced to the teens.' hi. thank you for coming. it's all good. inaudible


- howdy! > - howdy. that's a texan greeting. glad to see you. howdy. 'back home, sevda is suspicious of strangers.' i wanna go. i wanna go. she's gone for a little bit? ok. what am i doing? seriously. oh, my god. i had those thoughts, too, before you got here. "what am i doing introducing this drama into our lives?" right?


- but you know what...? - you don't know how i'm feeling. you really don't. to come over from england, yeah? stay with a family i don't know. and, like, i've got to do all these things. it's a lot. you don't understand. plus, you took my cigarettes away. - let's talk about it when we get home. - yeah. i'd like some time to myself. i need a cigarette. - i need a cigarette. - how about we talk about that? - there's no talking. i want a cigarette. 'to avoid making a scene, roseanne takes sevda straight home. 'back at the house,


'sevda's desperate for a smoke, and roseanne is on her guard.' sevda. - there's a cigarette in there. - no. i need to go toilet. - we have a bathroom right... - no. - sevda... - get off me, bruv. - we have another bathroom. - why are you touching me for? - we have another bathroom. - i'm going home, bruv. sevda giggles i'm going home. are you stupid? open the fucking door, man. i'm going home. are you dumb?


putting your hand on me. you're fucking stupid! dickhead! don't film me, bruv. seriously! why are you coming here for? go away! - when you are ready to talk like an adult... - piss off! go the fuck away! - ..i will be looking... - i don't like you! i'm not coming back in your house. that's that. bitch. 'the frazees decide to give sevda time to reflect on her behaviour.' it's just a lot of attitude. "don't get in my way!"


out of love, we can outlast her. i'm not going to get her. it could be a really cold night. think i'm going back in that house? you must be crazy. i'm not going back in there. 'concerned that sevda's rocking the boat, 'andrew has a word.' - get over it! - what are you talking about? - you're acting like some fucking prick. - why are you taking their side? - i'm not. - you are. this is our fucking chance and you've screwed it up on the first day. you're going to balls-up your one chance to do something right.


'three hours later, sevda has not returned to the house.' bitch! she makes me sick. roseanne: i'd like to order three large pizzas. do you have a special? this is for delivery. 'the frazees refuse to let sevda ruin the family evening.' they're proper treating me like a kid. "we're getting pizza and you're on the naughty step." skin. this is pepperoni with pineapple. 'inside the house, the family atmosphere is winning andrew over.'


i'm not going to give up just cos of their rules. why is the car there for? go away and let me sleep. 'the frazees are giving andrew a new view on family life.' a culture shock. coming from england, you know. my parents are divorced. most parents of the people i know are divorced. i've come here and they're the happiest family in the world! i can't even act like a dick towards them. i try but i can't.


they're so nice! 'randy and roseanne's strategy of leaving sevda to stew 'has finally paid off.' i really don't want to walk back in but it's got to be done. they're just so controlling and stubborn. hello. sevda, hi. sorry. for what, sevda? what do you think you did wrong?


- i lost my temper. - you did. i accept your apology. i want to check something out, ok? you lost trust. we care about you. we are going to walk with you. and we expect for you to make mistakes and start over again. that's called forgiveness. 'the frazees' calm, gentle approach seems to have an effect on sevda.' i knocked over the coffee. i don't know why i do that. because i can be so considerate and nice to people. my mum always says to me that i've got this stinking attitude.


if that was me in london, i would have got a bottle of vodka and drank my sorrows away. that's what i would have done but today, it was different. i had to talk to them cos i wasn't going to give up. they wasn't going to give in, so it had to be done. i think there's a small victory, believe it or not. we didn't give in and give her the cigarette. we think the cigarettes is a smaller issue than authority in her life and, basically, overpowering people.


'in the frazee household, the day starts bright and early.' morning. it's after seven and we have things planned today so we've got to get up, bud. ok? 'at this time, andrew would usually be getting in from a big night out.' what time do i normally get up? well, i don't get up in the morning. 'the frazees believe that, to help yourself, 'you must learn to help others. 'they have arranged for the teens


'to volunteer at a homeless shelter in san antonio.' we're going to haven for hope. cos i'm not going to be there, this is kind of a test of trust. what i need for you guys to do is to show up and to participate - and to make a contribution. - definitely. - you up for that? - yeah. i think it's going to benefit both of them to see that, "oh, my goodness! there is a way that people can be helped. "it's so satisfying. maybe the key to my life is not to be so focused on myself." 'only a fifth the size of london,


'san antonio has the same number of homeless people on its streets. 'haven for hope is a 100-million state-of-the-art shelter. 'it's the only one of its kind in the united states.' welcome to prospect courtyard... 'the teens will be supervised by project leader susan jenkins, 'who oversees volunteers and new residents.' we bring people in that sleep under the bridge, in the parks and such, give them a shower and a meal and keep them safe. we do not discriminate.


that means there are individuals who have just gotten out of jail. there are some dangerous individuals so you do have to be careful. we advise people for their jewellery and such, to put that all away. - i'm a bit nervous now. - good. good! - can you do it? - yeah. - ok, do it. we're going to talk about this at dinner. - how's it going today? - very good. take everything off that's metal and go through my metal detector.


take your bandana off. 'the residents earn their place on campus 'by taking part in rehabilitation programmes and working in the community.' we're going to take you in the kitchen and get you ready to serve. 'it's lunch time, and there are more than 800 people to feed.' - laughing: - andrew! i feel like a prick. i most likely look like a prick. apron?


go on. i put loads of carrots for you guys. i don't work here, so take advantage of me. i'm giving them loads of carrots. 'while sevda is in her element, 'andrew is affronted by a lack of thanks for his hard work.' it's weird. like, they're getting food and they don't care. i don't mean to sound like a pompous dick, but they're so ungrateful. you've got your food, yes? don't you feel like you're helping and you can chillax a bit?


i'm doing it because i have to. it's just not my thing. 'after 20 minutes, andrew has given up.' they don't have anything in their eyes. there's no spark. everyone has a spark, even a tiny glint in their eyes. they have nothing. a lot of what you see is fear. < other people are not going to do anything. we have to channel what you feel into giving people hope. no. i don't know if i can do it.


i come from an upper-class background. i've been to private school all my life. everyone i know, quite a lot of my friends, they make the wealthy people here seem like commoners. the amount of money i've been around and i guess i've been fucking spoilt and my parents have given me a bit too much but... it just contrasts on such a fucking level that i just can't handle it. 'lunch service over, the frazees arrive to pick up the teens.' everyone i met, i got along with them.


- all right! - they're proper nice. andrew, you look like you're struggling. today, full stop, everything, like... i don't know. i've not been into it. you think you tried your best? > i did it because i have to. that's it. that's literally it. i'm doing it because i have to. here it is.


we're going to get some lunch. 'the frazees believe that education and character development 'are critical to a young person's upbringing. 'both teens have been failing at school. 'the frazees want them to start a self-improvement programme 'to try and get them back on track 'at the boys & girls club of america in nearby boerne.' any questions about the rules? 'the boerne centre is run by programme director diane chase.'


we have a lot of kids that are on probation or have been in trouble hanging out, side-by-side, with kids that are getting good grades, kids that are doing the things they should be doing. it can do nothing but benefit them. our focus is about personal responsibility, character development, learning how to be an adult and making positive life choices that stick with you. where are we going? is that a school, bruv? listen to me carefully. both of you are smart. you know you're smart. we believe in you. do everything they ask you to do and wow them.


- fine. - impress them, ok? - hi, miss. - hi. diane chase. - who are you, babe? - pardon. what's your name? - diane. - it's ok. what's yours? - sevda. - say that again. - sevda. - that's beautiful. - thank you. - welcome. andrew. nice to meet you. nice to meet you. the one rule is we respect each other, we don't put each other down, whether we dress or talk differently. we try to avoid swearing.


everybody want to grab a seat? - laughing: - i don't want to be here! - let it slide. 'sevda got no qualifications. 'in year 12, her mum was issued a parenting order for low attendance. 'soon after, sevda stopped going.' why don't we start with introductions? 'miss chase wants the teens to get to know one another. i'm georgia. i'm 17. i'm a senior at boerne high school.


i like to ride horses and i want to be a doctor. i'm a pretty good kid! 'listening to the ambitions and achievements of her new classmates is intimidating for sevda.' i like to play sports. i'm on the basketball team. basketball's my life. i'm a senior at... - can i go outside, please? - what, honey? keep talking. 'accustomed to difficult teenagers, miss chase goes looking for sevda.' they're not the kind of people i'd make friends with.


- how do you know that? - they're not my kind of people. i'm asking you to give them a chance the way they're giving you a chance. don't judge them. give them the opportunity that they're giving you. - that's all i'm asking. - but they're all together. and i'm just here. give them a chance, ok? - yeah. - it's not going to hurt. i had a joint that long in my hand... 'andrew had a fortune spent on his education, 'but he left school with only three gcses.'


school didn't go particularly well for me. my parents spent a lot of money on school and i threw it back in their face. i've messed everything up. yeah. to be perfectly blunt and honest. < i failed everything. 'during break time, students are encouraged to socialise.' sevda was the quiet one. i wanted to hear more out of her but andrew's really talkative. he spoke what was on his mind. i like that. he's really cool.


she seems cool. i just wish she would open up to us. i think she'd be cool to hang out with. 'sevda stays inside and tries to avoid the crowd. 'classmate carlton makes an approach.' - you like art? - yeah. i do it when i'm nervous. in a lesson, i like to draw. so you like art. you're very stylish. you have a lot going for you. do you like to party?


a lot? so do i. you want to know where i just got back from? - i got five months in jail. - really? - yeah. my mum's an alcoholic. my dad, i don't know where he is. i've been to every school in this town cos of moving. i've been through rough times. - i hate all of this. - you don't want to do this? - i don't like school. - i don't do school. - i say go for it... 'despite carlton's efforts, the pressure of fitting in proves too much.'


oh, my god! i'm not staying here. laughter 'whilst andrew settles in, 'sevda sits out the rest of the afternoon. 'back home, roseanne wants to find out what's troubling her.' when it comes to doing things, i can never follow through. - you don't follow through? - never. - never? - do you not like that? - i hate it. it's why i couldn't do school. - cos you would give up? - hm.


i know you could do school. in order to get to be an executive and do some of the things that you dream about doing, you kinda have to prove yourself on paper, unfortunately. i've failed so many times in school, so i'm kind of used to it now. that's why i'm here. i really want to try. you do. it makes us feel bad when we fail. - about ourself. - mm. - but it doesn't change who we are. we've got to love inside, who we are.


and say, "you know what? i can't do that. "but i can do this." - yeah. - you have so many things you can do. you are sevda. you are funny. you are smart. you're clever. that's who you are, and that's not up for grabs. 'in the frazee household, 'the family get together every day to bond over an evening meal. 'randy has been keeping a close eye on the teens' progress.'


'i'm learning about where they're from. they're from polar opposites.' when they arrived i thought they were the same, and they're very different. andrew, i was surprised he didn't make more progress. there's something about looking homelessness in the face. i'm not sure why. it really angers him, really unnerves him. for sevda, i'm learning that she is a part of a community that you relate to and identify with the people in that community. but once you go outside of that, you have to be guarded because you can't trust them. 'it's the third day in texas.


'the teens are being sent back to the boys & girls club.' i know, sevda, this is a challenge for you. i'm going to ask you to lose the attitude. go through the fire of this experience and we'll be here to hear your success story, for you and everybody who needs to get through a difficult situation. - can you give it a try for me? - yeah. - dig down deep, girl. - yeah. - we'll be back in a little bit. - andrew: shut up! - you shut up! arse! 'the day begins with a team-building exercise.'


so, is everybody ready to roll? > the simple explanation is you're going to the park to play games. 'the class head to the park. 'when the games begin, sevda doesn't want to play.' - i don't want to go over there. - all right. i just feel, what am i here with these people for? you want to come back and help me set up the room for the kids? all the art stuff? ..ok. 'sensing sevda's lack of confidence,


'miss chase gets her to focus on her positive memories from school.' think of something that a teacher said that stuck with you. i got along with my old teachers. they all loved me. i've let my teachers down. - you can go and talk to them. - i wouldn't want to go back to my secondary school. the message you need to carry from them is that you've got potential. i'm just naturally paranoid. like, i'm just paranoid all the time. 'the rest of the class have completed the trust-building game. 'miss chase sets her homework.'


so, the last phase of the project we're working on is a challenge for you guys to map out where you are now and where you see yourself going. then present it in whatever way you are comfortable with. 'miss chase hopes her course will help sevda 'address some of her insecurities.' she projects the things that make her feel uncomfortable, the things that make her nervous and her self-esteem issues onto other people,


rather than take the chance that she'll be vulnerable. that's what she doesn't want to be. 'problems began when her father left the family home.' she hasn't really got a relationship with her dad. she never did have. 'he left her.' 'i've had opportunities to be in contact with him.' but i don't want to get hurt again. and again. and again. i told her why we split up. she said, "would you ever go back with him?" i said, "never!" i've never had a father figure in my life, you know.


i always think, if he was in my life, how would my life be? how would i be as a person? always think that. 'time away from home has given sevda the chance to reflect 'on how her father's absence has affected her.' it makes me angry that my dad hasn't tried with me because it affects my relationships with people. i can't trust people because i think they're gonna walk out, just like my dad did, like my parent.


maybe if i just opened up a bit, stopped being so tight and just, like...closed. i need to stop that. i'm not going to let the fact that i didn't have a dad hold me back. 'the frazees often do charity outreach work. 'they're taking the teens to a soup kitchen in san antonio. 'randy has been concerned about andrew's attitude since his outburst at the homeless shelter.' say something nice to them. "bless you." something. wish them a great day. something, ok?


all right. i think i can manage. there you go. enjoy it, man. i'd love to do this for a job. i seriously would. i feel so good. i really do. i don't fucking think i can do this. it's the most depressing thing i've ever seen in my life. < i can't do this. this is so depressing. 'sensing andrew's distress, randy intervenes.'


i want to introduce you to melvin. from the uk, man? gloves? i don't have germs. - i got the cooties, though! - i want you to meet melvin. tell him a little about your story. when i was where you come from, it was the same way. homeless people? really? "let me get a dollar!" "get a job, bro!" seriously. i'm in manhattan. brooklyn, new york. working in night clubs. "excuse me, man. you got a dollar?"


"oh, man. what you need a dollar for? you gonna get drunk?" you just look down at people. when you hit that level they're on, there's no more looking down. i got a whole new-found respect for these individuals. it's for real. that's straight from the heart. i never thought i'd be in a situation that i am right now. i understand completely. good to meet you, man. 'chatting with melvin has given andrew a whole lot to think about.' it makes me realise how much of a prick i've been.


i've wasted everything. i've wasted so much money. the money i wasted on school could have bought these people a fucking house! 'if anything, this is the reason why you came here.' that's what i love about you, man. because you love people. you know? how could this happen? hopeless, almost like. yeah. yeah.


wow. > andrew: it shouldn't happen, man. can you gut it up and head back? yeah. sure. just give me a minute. 'feeling drained, but with new resolve, andrew returns to serving.' how you doing, andrew? good. there you go, man. 'yeah. i'm glad i came down. it hasn't been a highlight.' it has, at the same time. it's strange.


i'm always going to keep the memory of what's going on here. it's stopped me being so prejudiced and such a...dick about it. it's changed my mind completely. 'as a storm hits texas, 'the teens head to the boys & girls club for the last time. 'their assignment has been to create an art project that shows their life's journey.' this is the relaxing period of my life, where i'm going to retire. this means i'm finished and safe, cos i have the shield of wisdom. i'm hoping to go make my life story happen.


miss chase: excellent. 'simply being amongst new classmates has been a struggle for sevda. 'now she must present her life story to them.' so this is a big thing for me right now. you may think it's a small group. it's a really big thing for me. ok, basically, i might seem intimidating but deep down i am a nice soft person. i've learnt to be patient, hold my anger, stay cool. things are easier to get through when you just keep the peace.


i've learnt not to say, "i don't feel comfortable", "why is everyone staring?" and "i can't do it" because it's pointless. i feel proud because i actually find that i can do it. i needed to open up about my life and stuff, 'just so i could actually change.' - first step, managing to finish something. - get a certificate! - yeah. - i haven't got a certificate for three years. - same. - a certificate! - the first step on a new road. - yeah. i'll give you a hug. ah. mum and dad's here!


get my teacher! get my teacher! - hi. - no more school. you did it! i'm not letting them take you away from me now! she told us all about her life and her ambitions. i was proud of her. way to go, sevda. what about andrew? 'randy thinks that andrew will benefit from some quality father-and-son time. 'he wants to give him a real texan experience, 'and is taking him to a friend's shooting ranch.'


we have a little time to laugh and lose yourself in hanging out together. 'you really do learn a lot and bond a lot, 'and it takes bonding to have hard conversations.' - i hit it? - you hit it. - yeah! andrew laughs for queen and country. pull. you did it again. - it beats video games. - yeah. this beats video games any day.


randy! > i'm back, baby! i'm back! i'm back! - shall we do one last shell each? - all right. < oh, my goodness! you both got it! yeah! - that was awesome. - that was good, man. 'before they leave the ranch, 'randy wants to find out 'what andrew's learned about himself in texas.'


i've heard you say several times, "i squandered my opportunities." "i've failed up to this point." yeah, i realise i've been failing my parents. they've said it's always their fault. they haven't failed me. i've been failing, not only myself, but them. they've given me everything. i've given them nothing. i've literally seen them, like, on their knees, crying, begging for me to change. i've walked off. "fuck off! you're being over the top."


my dad's getting old and i want to be able to make something of myself. i've never quite seen my dad actually...truly be proud. i want to be able to pay him back. one piece of advice i might give you is that it's all about the opportunity to be forgiven and starting fresh. i promise you, no matter what you think about your dad, from the perspective of a dad, i can tell you he's waiting for his son to come home. usually, i'm fairly good with words but i don't have much to say


- other than...just, thank you. - you're welcome, man. that was awesome, man. 'the time has come for the teens to leave texas 'and return to their own families.' - voice breaking: - it's been an honour to have you in our home. we want you to live life to the full with everything you have in you. it began with enormous apprehension. it ended with tremendous hope and a sense of accomplishment, i think, for all parties involved.


the number one thing we can say is we fell in love with two kids from england. - bye, dad. - bye, darling. they're a wonderful family. lovely, lovely people. they've got so much love in their hearts. - thank you very much. - you're welcome. i'm going to help round the house. i'm going to respect my mum more. i'm most looking forward to going to college, just to get things back working. i love you guys.


the frazee family must be the nicest people i've ever met. in fact, they are. you know? bye. 'i'm hoping that mum is going to be surprised that i've changed,' that i can make life easier for her. i hope he comes back with a sense of achieving something. i want to see him motivated and excited about things. one of the purposes of this was to help his self-esteem. ah! to be home!


i'm definitely going to be more helpful. it's not actually that much of a problem. i was whining about it cos i couldn't be bothered. this is so wonderful. 'i see a change.' i see an old andrew. i cannot tell you how happy i feel. i owe randy and his family everything, just like i owe you and dad. oh, god! i'm so grateful. do you know how much you move me?


'i cannot describe how happy i feel. i'm humble.' i really hope it is the making of andrew. i really hope so. i really hope she's learnt to open her eyes. drop this barrier, give people a chance. get rid of this chip on her shoulder and this bad attitude. knuckle down and sort out her education. knocks on door hey, nanny. - welcome back. - hey, mum!


i missed you. i had to fill this in. "i don't like it." "i don't feel comfortable." in the end, i thought, "if i can do this, i can do anything." it really challenged me. i'm sorry for my attitude. i need to stop being self-centred. - it's just holding me back, man. - yes. she's got the capability to do anything she wants. i just really hope now that this is going to prove she can do it. i left my london attitude in texas and brought my texas attitude back.


- i'm really proud of you. - oh, i missed you! i'm really proud of you. 'next time on the world's strictest parents, 'wannabe rap star daniel and spoilt brat forest...' - i've got myself to think about. - that's all you think about. '..get new parents in holland.' - it isn't acceptable for me. - i don't want to share my room with them. it's a matter of trust! i think, but i can't prove it, that he's taken some drugs.


subtitling by red bee media ltd e-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk


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